Submitted By: Anon
International Dating Etiquette
- First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
- Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
- Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.
- First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
- Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
- Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
- Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you!
- First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
- Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
- 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
- First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
- Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
- Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.
- 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
- 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
- First Date: You get dynamite head.
- Second Date: You get more great head.
- Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
Middle Eastern Woman
- First Date: You fill out the mandatory family questionnaire listing all your assets.
- Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes along.
- Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you.
- Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in one night. You're rushed to a hospital for exhaustion.
- First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.
- Second Date: She is pregnant.
- Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.
- First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.
- Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.
- Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.
- First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
- Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.
- Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.
- First date: Meet her parents.
- Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
- Third date: Wedding night.
- First date: You take her to an Owambe Party, naturally she does not put on an under wear. You have sex with her standing behind a car in the dark end of the street.
- Second date: You meet her in a restaurant just ordering a plate of amala and two kpomo, she sees you and orders for salad, chicken, goat meet, turkey, etc. you go to her house and have sex.
- Third date: She is pregnant, but not too sure who is responsible.
- First date: She tells you about her being the first born of the family, and has twelve others to take care of. She eats and drinks, no sex.
- Second date: Her father is very sick and needs some money for urgent treatment. She shows you enough just to entice you.
- Third date: She has never tried it before, you are going to be the first person; however,
she has two kids at home, so promise you will marry me.
- First date: Get drunk, eat a lot of suya meat, have sex.
- Second date: get drunk, eat meat, and have sex.
- Third date: Get drunk, have sex; lets get married.
- Rivers State
- First date: Where do you work, oil or gas company?, Good, go to club, get drunk, have sex.
- Second date: Pay for house rent, assist in setting up business. Play along, then off to her house, good sea food, and more sex.
- Third date: Informs you of one or two previous kids she has for two different men, and then the big one; she is pregnant for you, consider marriage or my Ijaw brothers will be after you.
- Cross Rivers
- First date: Rather you eat at home, makes good delicious Edikankon soup with lots of fishes and meat. Cleans up the house everywhere sparkling even before you are out from the gents. Serves you the food nicely, with a lot of sweet soothing words. Goes to the room, makes the bed and bingo, have sex.
- Second date: All your cloths washed, the house swept, moped, and dusted. Water to wash up after a hard days job Food is ready before you can change from your work cloth. Sweet words of praises, and swap; have an exhausting marathon sex.
- Third date: Cloths washed, house clean as never before, food is ready and served as if in a restaurant, then another exhausting rounds of sex.
- You are the one to now ask, "will you marry me".
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