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Author Name: Staff
Number of articles: 8
This piece is intended as a sequel to two essays on Professor Maurice Iwu by one Aloy Ejimakor, writing... (0) Comment

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Why Do Nigerian Men Cheat?
Author: Staff | May 12, 2009

Any time I ask a Nigerian man out to a party his first response is always, "are there going to be plenty girls there?". What do they take us for? It is now clear to me that the reason they don't they take their wives or girlfriends out to these parties, is simply because they want to cheat. I talked to some of my female friends about it, and in general, they seem to accept that it is a way of life with Nigerian men and that we should accept it in silent resignation. I hear justifications like "in a man's world, variety is the spice of life" and that "men will be men." In response I say, nonsense? I don't think that Nigerian women should sit and fold our hands and let these men take us women for a ride, simply because tradition demands that of us. We have feelings just like the men and we are the only ones who can put a stop to it. I also discussed this with some male friends and they gave me some interesting answers. Some say they cheat because their wives nag them so much that they unknowingly push them into the hands of other women. Others say their wives become unattractive overnight, by putting on weight in the wrong places. Another added that some wives are so troublesome that you can never find peace in their presence. And some said they do it for the fun of it. Take the case of a man that was caught having an affair with the daughter of his wife's best friend. By our rules, the wife is expected to forgive him because he is her husband and the father of her children. Excuse Me!! Hello? What would happen if the reverse is the case? Will the man over look the it? After all, she is his wife, the mother of his children and the fact that it is not so common with women. Read some of the men's responses: One of the men I spoke to, said he could never forgive his wife. Many said they would give them the beating of their lives before sending them back to their families. Others were quick to offer death as an appropriate punishment. Some went as far as saying that they will take their kids away from them before kicking them out. Still others could just not imagine their wife with another man. If the men feel so strongly about it, why then do they cheat ? Are the reasons they give not valid for the women too? Yet, women typically don't because they know that in the eyes of God and man it is wrong and the society frowns on it. They take into consideration how this transgression would affect their children and other loved ones. I feel the Nigerian men should have the fear of God in them think of their wives and how it affects them emotionally and psychologically. They should also give the greatest thoughts to their children. Please be clear, I am not suggesting for a minute that women don't cheat. So this plea is also applicable the women. I feel men and women should be able to talk things out, so as to know when one spouse is going wrong and how to correct things, instead of taking their anger and frustration outside of the marriage/relationship for consolation.

(18) Comment

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NGEX welcomes and encourages reader comments. Permission to post reader comments is assumed, and we reserve the right to excerpt or edit for clarity any comments that are posted. We won't be able to publish all comments. And we can't vouch for the accuracy of posts from readers. Nickname or Name will be used to identify your post.
Juel Thomas    Williamsburg, USA    June 26, 2007
I met a Nigerian man at a local store in my area. I live in a tourist town. My first question was was he waiting for his wife and child. He replied that he was not married. We started a month long phone relationship. A lot of I love u's and planning a life together only to find out he was married. A lot of Nigerian men are married to women while they await their greencard but have begun building a life with other women. They are liers, and do not trust them. My heart was broken because I fell in love with him only to find out he has already a wife. I will never trust another Nigerian Man. And he is here under a false name. The name he uses is not his real name.
EKO SISTA    balbriggan, ireland    April 29, 2007
I find it facinating that people (men in general) blame the women for cheating, yes i agree that women cheat men are worse and for very stupid reasons.

what do they men by ladies dressing provocatively, hello u can look but dont touch, I agree with what one person said that most ladies will go out with a guy even when they know that they are married or in a commited relationship.

u know what they are? Stupid because what ever they sow you shall reap, they will definately get married one day and God help them when their husbands start cheating on them.

Most women who cheat do so out of greed or lack of contentment,so i speak to say they do it because their husband are never there for them. Whatever the situation it is wrong to cheat it is a sin before man and God
Ade Yankee    ,     January 24, 2007
I think we should take a critical look at the psychological difference between a man and a woman. That will give us a background to the whys?

I am not a psychologist but I tend to be objective when it comes to issues like this. I based my objectivity on what has been researched, tested and practicable.

It is widely known that men are moved by sight. We tend to react at what we see. Now, women have capitalised on that and came with all sorts of thought provoking and eye popping "so-called" fashion attires.

They say their intention is not to seduce but to feel good. I quite agree with that but the act contributes to the issue at hand. Only solution is if all men in the world will go blind (God forbid).

On the other hand, women are moved by sound (what they hear). That gives rise to the act we know as "toasting" (verbal wooeing). Also if you ask a lady what she wants in man, she is likely to mention security first before other things.

Security translatest to the financial ability of the man to supply whatever her imagination conjours. There is absolutely nothing wrong about it but everything has to be done in moderacy such that caution and commonsense will not be thrown to the winds.

Both sexes need to evolve to the level of being able to control all these naturally innate desires and to set boundaries. Not being able to do this and wanting to fully "express" ourselves results in cheating. We should also know that cheating comes in various forms and we all are guilty of it consciously or unconsciously.
ola SEUN    london, England    January 20, 2007
men cheat cos ladies cant satisfy us sexually and emotionally and women moan to much and accuse u of things that u have not done.

also until women hold there corner and do what they are told to do the world will be a better place!
Skinner.    Greater Manchester., United Kingdom.    January 20, 2007
Hey,common lets be sincere to ourselves, both men and women are guilty of this.

I cant understand why our dear author is being sentimental about the all whole thing,to our general understanding,it is not possible for a man to take himself to bed all alone without engaging the opposite sex( Female ) so what the hell are we blaming the men for.

this is just an attempt to give the dog a bad name.I rather see this issue as general and should not be made personal for goodness sake.
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