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Author Name: Emily
Number of articles: 8
Have you ever been so much in love that you sacrifice everything for your loved one but all your efforts... (3) Comment


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Unfaithful - If I Catch My Wife Cheating
Author: Emily | March 09, 2007



A fortnight ago, I was watching a program on TV - my favorite TV show -, on this particular occasion the topic was  "If you catch your wife in a hotel room with another man, what will you do".

The presenter had to get the views of people, and to my surprise the men that were interviewed had this to say:

  • 1st man: That will be the end of that marriage; I will send her packing from my house.
  • 2nd man: I will make sure I disgrace her there at the hotel, before she packs out of my house.
  • 3rd man: In fact the woman should not even bother coming back to my house, let her go from that hotel, unless she wants me to commit murder.
  • 4th man: Abomination, a taboo for a woman to do, I will divorce her immediately because she is not worthy to be my wife.
  • 5th man: I will make sure, she and her boyfriend pay dearly for the crime they have committed for cheating on me.
  • 6th man: I will beat the hell out of her life, for disgracing me like this.
  • 7th man: I will carry out a DNA test on our children first to be sure they are truly mine, before I take the next step of sending her out.

In all these, no man even talked about forgiving her and giving her a second chance to mend her ways, I ask myself: Why is it hard for men to forgive their wives when they are in such dilemma,  Is it that our men are more jealous than the women, or is it that they can not bear to see their wives with another man, or is it that they cannot imagine what the other man might be doing with their wives, or is it that they feel inferior and that their wives have discover their inadequacy of not being man enough to satisfy them which makes them to look else where.

Whatever the reason, why do men find it difficulty in their heart to forgive and let bygones be bygone, beside there is an adage that says, "To err is human, and to forgive is divine", or have they forgotten their promises of loving us till death do us apart.

 



(11) Comment


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Kayode    Dayton Ohio, USA    September 10, 2007
First I think the comments I have read by most of the men above have been rather immature and selfish. What should she do if the situation were reversed? The golden rule for ALL human relationships as exemplified by christ is "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WILL WANT THEM TO DO UNTO YOU"

The question is what will I do as a man in such a situation where the wife is the offender.

Adultery on the part of the man or the woman is NEVER excusable! There should never be any reason enough for a man or woman to find love elsewhere apart from one's spouse. After all he/she promised to love, cherish till death do you part. Now if you did not promise your spouse this before you married them then that may be your reason why you went into adultery.

Well it will be time for me and her to have an honest serious discussion as to why such should happen. Where did I miss it or where did she miss it in the relationship? What are the underlying reasons. It may well be that the man is not meeting her emotional needs or some other need and not that she just wanted to sleep around. What I am saying is that as a man I would want to find out why first!!


Other deciding factors is the wife's attitude after the affair. Is she repentant and willing and able to cut off all such relationship(s). Is she ready to come out with the whole truth. Is she holding back or telling all? Is there any real guarantee that some lesson has been learnt and it will never happen again?


The thing is that we all make mistakes and we should remember that sometime somewhere down the line, we all make mistakes and our Father in Heaven forgives us daily when we ask Him.

If things can be worked out between husband and wife and they still love each other, then let there be forgiveness and renewal of their vows to each other.

Her unfaithfulness is no reason to become verbally or physically abusive to her. If you as a man cannot live with her after such an incident, then perhaps you need some time apart to re-evaluate your priorities and feelings for your wife and family.
funmi    lagos, Nigeria    August 21, 2007
well i think men are just beeen very wicked. women are to be taken care of properly if they are they wont lok else where and never will they think of having anither affair. but men will always sleep around and do all sort of rubbish dat is y most of them get diseases like aids. useless people.
Olasheni    Riyadh, KSA    April 28, 2007
Firstly, I’m here to thank all that contributed.

This habit is bad and reject in all noble books and in our tradition, unless if you are irresponsible person.
To me, I think we should discuss on how abstain from this bad habit called adultery.

The important thing is that, the both woman and man should please have a little fear of Allah (God) in their dictionary and they must aware of these things:

1-Take good care of your wife/husband I mean try to do all your responsibilities as much as you can.

2-Take good care of yourself, by having good dressing (be good looking, even if you are at home).

3-Ask your wife/husband to be in a good dressing at all-time.

4-Drive away from bad gangs.

5-Stay at home, share ideas, love with your partner.

6-Show your love and your good care to your wife.

7-If you are frustrating (Attracting by a woman) go back to your wife share love with her - as directed by Noble Prophet (SAW)-, this will calm you down.

8-Remember the word of Noble Prophet saying: “as you can never endure bear if you caught your wife exercising that, people would not happy, endure it if they caught you exercising it with their daughter, sister, aunty, house girl talk less of their woman”

9-Always asking guidance of Allah (God).

10-Woman should be unambitious complaisant.

Lastly we are asking Allah to protect us in bad attitudes.
Ettez    Fountain, United States    April 11, 2007
I think that if a women decides to cheat on her boyfriend, husband, etc.

It's because there is something missing at home--the husband or boyfriend or livin companion may have given her everything materialistic but then you have the physical and emotional aspect in the relationship which is very important as well.

One may have all these things but there is always somethings missing, such as working to much or not paying enough attention to the wife sometimes little things that may not be important one person that can be very important to the other.

Sometimes is very important to pay attention to little details. It can be many reasons as to why a women may cheat.

I can say the same for a man if these things are missing in a man's life it may cause him to cheat on his women, too...

The only thing i can say is that yes, this may be a man's world but without us their would be not humanity...We just need to learn to respect each other and love each other wholeheartly....

Pay more attention to detail...There is saying if you do not look out for the growth of your business someone else would--- and would benefit from your business...

Love consist of--Honesty,consideration,compromising,respect,loyalty,diginty,and most of all LOVE!
MUMBA    Glasgow, UK    March 16, 2007
We know that most men cant hold their urge intact even if they have the most beautiful wife at home, the like aventures to boost their egos, in our society men do get away alot with cheating especialy in Africa where ploygamy still rules. I will not expect a woman to believe that what a man can do she too can do it and get away with it. Women are our mothers, they are the home makers that is the difference their unfaithfullness affectts the stabilty of the family instantly b/c they hold a very sacred positon in the family. They may not get away with cheating the way men would, an unfaithful woman is a disgrace to her family and God Iwould rather have an unfaithful father than an unfaitful morher. So please women accept the truth its men'sworld. Women Liberation movements, Please take note.
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