Ogbuefi Contracta's business empire had expanded sotey he needed an American base.
His new office in New York was being refurbished and he was busy looking for American contacts.
A friend linked him with one Mr. Smith who in turn was to link him to an exclusive golf club where contacts could be made nyanfu-nyanfu.
Ogbuefi arranged to meet Mr. Smith at his office to avoid the Oyinbo man passing out on smelling the Apku and Okporoko at his home.
On the said day Ogbuefi was dressed as Tiger Woods and waiting. In walked a white man flanked by two black men. "These two resemble Naija o" thought Ogbuefi.
After handshakes he asked the guys their names. Both were Igbo.
Ogbuefi come laugh, bring out $500 for each man come speak in Igbo - "Make una tell this Oyinbo man say I be una King for Africa and na so I dey dash my subjects cash ani time I see dem"
The two Naija guys prostrated on the ground before Ogbuefi.
Seeing that the white man was impressed he decided to pose further using a well known Naija trick.
He picked up his hand set and dialed a lengthy number.
Ogbuefi: Hello?
pause
Ogbuefi: Is that Aso Rock? I want the President. What do you mean "go to hell?"
pause
Ogbuefi: Ah presido! Make you train the receptionist well o. Ah-ah which one is this "go to hell?" Anyway, I'm calling to wish you happy birthday.
pause
Ogbuefi: Ha ha ha. O.k, see you next week. Bye.
Ogbuefi puts down the phone and looks the Oyinbo man in the eye. "That was the president of Nigeria Mr. Smith. You see me and him are like this"' said Ogbuefi hooking his two index fingers together.
The white man then looked confused.
"What is wrong Mr. Smith?" asked Ogbuefi.
"Sorry sir but I think you are mistaking me for someone else. I am Mr. John and I have come with my boys to connect your phone!"
Chai!!
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