Shomo-logy
By: Babawilly
Shomo is Yoruba for 'you know now' and Shomo-logy is a fast growing science.
As a student of Shomo-logy myself, alau mi di chance to present my term paper entitled "You know you are in love"
You know you are in love WHENU
- You are watching a crucial World cup qualifier that the Eagles just have to win and Baby changes channel to CNN fashion as Kanu wan score, only for you to say "Darling, back to football when you are through" with a smile. Chai!!
- Your phone bill comes and you faint. In the emmergency rooms Baby tells you "sorry o, I rang my mum in Naija and met her watching Mofe Damijo's lastest video. She kindly rewound the film to the begining then put the hand set next to the T.V make I hear.
Small time I forget say na mobile phone come listen to news on top. You then wink and say "you're welcome" in your best akata/Barry White voice as the nurse struggles to put needle through ya thick Naija skin. Ouch!
- Her prolonged application of make-up is making you very late for an occasion yet you sit there mopping at her and humming "isn't she lovely..isn't she wonderful" like Stevie Wonder.
- You return from work and she says "Darling, I accidentally trashed your O and A-Levels plus your UniLag certificates while cleaning". Then you say "what's the big deal?, I love you". Instead of "Chai, upon all my reading wit candle and mosquito, you silly woman!"
- Your credit cards are always in her purse.
Musical Interlude
e no finish,
e no finish,
e no finish,
e no finish,
e no finish,
e no finish
(sax) pa pa pa.
- You celebrate weekly anniversaries of the day you met.
- Your padies are sick of hearing about her but you can't notice.
- You go to start your car after she has used it and almost kill your neighbour's mother as Baby has left the car in gear. Your tapes are missing, the mirrors and car seat are out of position and the floor is littered with Tom Tom and Goddy Goddy warpers.
You grab your mobile phone only to tell her "Darling, I love the way your perfume lingers afta you have used my moto. Love ya"
- You come back in to find her cooking with your best shirt on. "Hope you don't mind me borrowing?" she asks as you notice heavy palm oil stains on your white designer article. You juss eye Baby come say "how manage ani thing you nak for bodi dey fit you laik dis now?"
- You go fillage for holiday come dey call all ya female relatives the Baby name by askident.
Chairman, distinguished panel of judges, time keeper, co-debaters, opponents, fellow students and viewers at home. I hope that with this few points of mine I have concieved..I mean convinced you that you are in love or not in love at all as the case may be.
Goodnight
© 2000 - Babawilly
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