Shomo-logy 2
By: Babawilly
Shidren of nawadayz think say dem too suffer hard times bicos you juss message dem to go make tea or to go clean dia room. Sodiafor na Shomo-logy I go take put dem right on what hard life consists of.
You know you you are sufferihg hard life WHENU;
- Malaria wan kill you but you keep am to ya sef bicos you fear the dangerous Dongoyaro melesin wey ya mama go want you to inhale and drink.
- You shame as una enta church bicos everyone dey look ya family as ya papa come cut yards of the same material take sew French suit and dresses for all of una like Von-Trapp family. (Sound of Music).
- Ya mama serve you ponmon wit breakfast so dat you go chew am sotey make e soft by evening, by which time you go take am nak eba for supper.
- You dey ya mat for una 'room and parlour' while papa dey bed and light no dey. When light come now fan begin blow di mosquitoes wey dey play disco for ya ear commot and sleep come dey sweet, but ya papa go centre di table-fan on only im sef then come 'pull' fan neck to stop the rotation. Chai!
- Ya mama padlock fridge come travel and you juss dey fantasize about wetin dey inside the white Thermacool.
Musical Interlude
Was ah hard knock life LAGOS
Was ah hard knock life FOR US
In to ri pke we worked so hard
In to ri pke we suffer so much
It's a hard knock life YE PA !
It's a hard knock life NEPA !
Generator no dey yard
Only candle we juss dey burn
Was ah hard knock life.
- Your Play station, Nintendo and Gameboy all rolled into one is an old tyre which you pursue in the street smiling and steering it with your wooden 'joy stick'.
- You lived at the bottom of a hill and every morning after 'baffing' the car you have to 'push' uphill before it can start.
- You return soaked and wet from going to fetch water and despite your excuse of having fallen into the well you are lashed. You ask why and you are told (lashing still in progress) It's for you to remember not to be so careless next time'
- Every saturday you have to sling the carpet over the fence and beat the hell out of it. (Hoover ko vacuum ni).
- You no fit play music as when ya papa return e go go touch the Changer (record player) for backside to see if e hot. Ol' boy, if e hot na im be say you don die pata-pata.
It's been a pleasure doing buisness with you all.
Saygobay
Kachifo
Odaro
Goodnight
See ya later.
© 2000 - Babawilly