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Make Love.....To Me!

By JMK
Lagos
May 27, 2001

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There is nothing like a union of bodies, a fusion of souls.

The female form holds many mysteries, sweet sensations, yielding secret pleasures. To a woman, sex is almost a ritual, a painstaking process that needs the greatest attention to extremely sensitive areas.

A woman can be likened to a dormant volcano; it takes the right atmosphere and conditions, not to mention time to make it erupt. Lovemaking is not when a man is satisfied and needs to ask how it was for his lover, No! No! No! Real lovemaking or great sex needs no clarification, believe me you will know how it was if you did the job right the first time. The most timid woman will come alive and her body will not just speak to you, it will scream at you with pleasure.

There is no right or wrong way to make love, no techniques or textbooks to follow; it’s all by instinct.

Imagine the mating of animals, there is no script to follow, just pay attention, guys, this is the toughest examination that you will ever have to pass. You have to un-learn everything you know or think you know. Every woman is different, its almost like climbing mountains, each one is unique, the key word is RESPECT, remember it and give it, no matter the calibre, age or status of the woman in question.

Everyone has something that they need, look hard enough and you should be able to find something in her that can elicit a smile. Maybe I need to spell it out, pay her a compliment, make her feel special, keep it light but please don't overdo it, most women have the nose of an Alsatian, they can smell a fraud from miles away. If you gain a woman’s trust, making love to her becomes a matter of "when" not "if".

Chemistry is a crazy thing; it’s a bomb wanting to go off. It’s got fuses, even a timer, you just have to make it work for you and not against you. Remember the goal is to make her explode, so tread carefully. Beware of trap doors that come in the shape of seemingly innocent questions, questions like "Am I fat?" or "Do you still like your ex"? The wrong answers can trigger off a nuclear melt down.

Even the most beautiful women are insecure; the need for re-assurance is what cripples most women’s desire. We don’t all look like super models or playboy centrefolds. It is important for a woman to know that she is special, attractive and desirable all the time.

Most women are self-deprecating, but don’t ever make the mistake of agreeing with her, for instance, if you hear things like "are my breasts too small or too big?" Do not agree or disagree (God help you if you are caught staring at someone who is more or less endowed). It’s an intricate game of diplomacy and it starts from the first time eye contact is made.

Unless you are seeing a "professional", most women are tentative when it comes to lovemaking, they need to know its okay to show you their adventurous side, even the most innocent of women have their own ideas and fantasies, they need to know they are not being judged.

In the process of getting to know the lady, its important that she gets to know you too, you have to establish rapport. Nothing is as fun as laughter. You should be able to laugh together a lot. A strong camaraderie should be established. Laughter diffuses tension and will cement cracks that are bound to appear.

Movements are never as fluid, graceful or as easy as they appear in the movies, there will be accidents, drinks may spill on expensive outfits, shoes may step painfully on toes, jaws may even collide in the act of smooching. You need humour to calm tension. Even in the most intimate moments, nothing makes pleasure more intense than a smile, "a knowing smile", that precise moment/second you both connect totally, absolutely.

You have to let go completely, be willing to loose control, it’s not a contest and she is not comparing you to anybody else, contrary to popular opinion size does not really matter. Its what you can do with "it" that counts. She does not expect you to do a marathon nor does she want it. So you can last 10 hours!!! Congratulations, it still does not make you a great lover.

What makes you great is your ability not only to give pleasure but to receive it in equal measure. Go with the flow, start making love to her even before you touch her, use words, music, your eyes and most importantly use humour, laughter gets the juices flowing.

When you finally get the ball rolling, start slowly, seduction is an art and it begins from the mind. Set the mood with ease, establish physical contact gently, learn her movements and you will know where to start, encourage her to touch you, move close enough without being threatening, let her make the first move. When you do touch her, make sure you start in the neutral areas, i.e. hand, backs, neck, and head etc.

Don’t be juvenile and grab her in sensitive areas like the breasts or buttocks, you most likely will get a slap for your pain. Try standing behind her, close enough that she can feel your breath on her neck, if she takes a step back into your arms, you are home free, otherwise step back and give her space.

Keep your movements confident and relaxed. Establish intimacy with gestures, touch her face, hold hands, kiss her hand, a kiss on the forehead and as time progresses a peck gently on the lips. Create intrigue, make her want you, exercise restraint, put a leash on your libido and want you she will.

........to be continued

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