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Why Do Men Cheat?

Love Wars
By: Eko Sista (Lagos)

November 7, 2000

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Any time I ask a man out to a party his first response is always an insulting and leering - "are there going to be lots of girls there?". What do they take us for.

It is now clear to me that the reason they don't they take their wives or girlfriends out to these parties, is simply because they want to cheat.

In my search for alternate view points, I tried to talk to some of my female friends about it and in general, they seem to accept that it is a way of life with the men and that we should accept it in silent resignation.

I hear justifications like "in a man's world, variety is the spice of life" and that "men will be men."

In response I say, HORSE PUCKY!

I don't think that we women should sit and fold our hands and let the men take us women for a ride, simply because tradition demands that of us.

We have feelings just like the men and I, we have are the only ones who can put a stop to it.

I also discussed this with some male friends and they gave me the most amazing answers.

  • Some say they cheat because their wives nag them so much that they unknowingly push them into the hands of other women.

  • Others say their wives become unattractive overnight, by putting on weight in the wrong places.

  • Another added that some wives are so troublesome that you can never find peace in their presence.

  • And the most revealing comment?. Some said they do it for the fun of it.

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Take the case of a man that was caught having an affair with the daughter of his wife's best friend.

By our rules, the wife is expected to forgive him because he is her husband and the father of her children. Excuse Me????

What happens were the reverse is the case? Does the man over look the transgression? After all, she is his wife, the mother of his children and the fact that it is not so common with women.

Read some of the men's responses:

  • One of the men I spoke to, said he could never forgive his wife.

  • Many said they would give them the beating of their lives before sending them back to their families.

  • Others were quick to offer death as an appropriate punishment.

  • Some went as far as saying that they will take their kids away from them before kicking them out.

  • Still others could just not imagine their wife with another man.

If the men react so strongly why then do they cheat ?

Are the reasons they give not valid for the women too?

Yet, women typically donít because they know that in the eyes of God and man it is wrong and the society frowns on it. They take into consideration how this transgression would affect their children and other loved ones.

I feel the men should have the fear of God in them think of their wives and how it affects them emotionally and psychologically. They should also give the greatest thoughts to their children.

Please be clear, I am not suggesting for a minute that women don't cheat. So this plea is also applicable the women.

I feel men and women should be able to talk things out, so as to know when one spouse is going wrong and how to correct things, instead of taking their anger and frustration outside of the marriage/relationship for consolation.

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