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Diaz sontin ah'bout Mayree

By: Babawilly

Mary was too fine and she knew it. There was always a traffic jam whenever she graced the streets as everyone stopped to give her 'lift'. Sotey, Local government chairman bought her a car to get her off the roads. It worked. Traffic began to flow as per normal. As for Mary, her head grew too big.

One day she walked into her local Mamaput requesting Hibiscus esculentus soup wit Eba.

Mamaput was confused. 'You fat, ugly illiterate. You no go school? Get me Okro and Eba jo!' screamed Mary before letting out a marathon hiss, Naija style. Mamaput began to cry. Rather than comfort her the men present began to side with Mary whose head multiplied further.

Anyway, as we say in owa place- one day monkey go go supamarkit e no go come back- so it was for Mary and her pride.

It happened like this.

On her way to a function she branched Titi's house to use the loo. There was a man in dark glasses sat in the sofa who was introduced as the 'Blind man'.

Titi excused herself to go get some money for the 'Blind man' and left. Mary felt so much sympathy for the 'Blind man' she forgot her function and began gisting with him."How fine man laik dis go blind so?" she thought to herself.

At four o'clock sharp she remembered it was time for her medicated creams. You see, in the quest for perfect skin she had turned to skin toning creams which resulted in serious Craw-Craw (Dermatitis) on her back. Her Doctor begged her to stop but she no gree. In the end he had to give her Steroid creams for the Craw-craw.

To cut a long story short, she stripped naked in front of a large mirror in Titi's living-room and began to polish her Craw-craw, all the time chatting with the 'Blind man'. As she finished and reached for her blouse the 'Blind man' said "Sista, you miss one craw-craw. Make I help you rub am pomade?"

Mary ran straight out of the house naked and screaming 'Help o! My beauty has made the blind to see o!'

A crowd gathered.

While she narrated her story Titi arrived to find her friend naked in the street. No one offered a jacket to cover Mary in case the craw-craw was catchy.

On hearing the story Titi began to laugh. "Wetin you dey laugh now?" people asked. Titi who was now shedding tears as she laughed said "That ..that man...the man came to my window blinds....he he he.....

Na wa!

© 2000 - Babawilly
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