My Humble Self
In Association With
20th Century Bushmeat and DreamGburu
The first Naija Broadway Musical
Based On An Original Story
By Manny Osifo
Letter from Amerika
Tawakalitu don change
Let ya imagination pick race. Na wa!
Tawa walks in looking bemused.
Kasali - Na wetin?
Been around di world, Ah ya ya
Cannut find ma monthly
I don't know where, I don't why, Why it's gone away
I don't know where it could be, Ma monthly
(Barry White -Been around the world)
Kasali: Tawa! No put me for turoble O! Go find am o! Chei. I no fit feed two , how I go feed three.
Money Oh money, Got tu get mi hands on some.
(Old school, can't remember who sang it)
Tawa: Wetin bi no money. So you no sabi say..
Diaz nutin going down but di rent.
Boy you need a J.O.B. If you wanna bi wit mi.
No romance without finance
Kasali: Eh, Tawa! Who you dey call boy! If not for ya kondishion I for beat shege comot a bodi.
THREE MONTHS LATER.
Kasali returns from job number 4 tired and meets Tawa spitting in a glass in the living room. There were other dirty glasses on the center table.
Kasali: Why all dis spit spit? Abeg clear the glass jo.
Tawa: Why the shouting eh? Konsida mai kondishon.
Clear it up, pregnant Tawa clear it up
Abeg gi clear it up, spiti spiti, clear it up
(Bob Marley - Stir it up).
THREE MONTHS LATER.
Kasali and Tawa relaxing in bed.
Kasali: Those ye-ye pipo no give ma moda visa to come look pickin.
Tawa: Thank God,.. I mean sad sad. I'm so sad...ouch!
Kasali: Wetin !
Tawa: The baby moved. Do you want to feel it. (She puts Kasali's hand on her abdomen).
Feel the baby move
Wouldn't you feel the baby grove
Feel ma baby move
Comon feel da baby move
(Architects - let your body grove)
Tawa's mum got a visa and is now with the couple in the U.S. They are all watching T.V when Tawa lets out a scream.
Tawa: It's time o!
Kasali: (panics) Eh! Mama Tawa, call 911 oh! Call faya brigade o! Ambulass Oh!
Mama Tawa: Sharrup!!
Me wey ey deliva women for market inside fillage. Abeg go boil wata jare.
Tawa: Na hospitu I go born aarrrrgghhhh!!
Somebodies on the way oh!
Biggie biggie bouncing baby
(Sunny Neji - Mr Fantastic).
IN THE DELIVERY ROOM.
Doctor walks in.
Doctor: I'm Dr DoBorku. I will be delivering dis baby.
Mama Tawa: Dis small boy! Wetin e know about babies?
Kasali: Mummy, dis na Obstetrician o! Rememba, na Amerika we dey o. Na so dem dey young.
Mama Tawa: I see.
Come on Tawa Come on
Ya contracting Make I see some pushing.
(Kool & the gang - love festival).
Tawa grabs the laughing gas.
Taawaaaa push it
Taawaaaa push it real good.
(Salt & Pepper - Push it).
Mama Tawa: Sharrup Kasali!!!
You think it is easy. My doota take ya time jare. No mind dis men dem.
Mama Tawa sings:
Tawa, Don't push it
don't force it
let it happun naturally
it will surely happun
if it was meant to be.
(Leon Haywood - don't push it).
Tawa now high on laughing gas sings:
Laugh-ing-gas stay close to me
Don't let me feel the pain
Of borning dis child
laughing gas you make me feel so fine.
Feel so fine, all of di time.
(UB 40 Red Red wine).
BABY COME VEX PATAPATA
I'm coming out!
Dr. DoBorku begins to sweat. He pulls the baby out and smacks the bum, no crying.
Kasali: Wetin! My pickin aaa!
Dr. DoBorku gives oxygen to baby while the nurse massages baby.
Ah ah ah ah I'm staying alive staying alive
LATER ON THE WARD.
Kasali - the girl resemble me.
Tawa: Na lie. Dats my nose.
Tawa can't you see
Abi you dey blind
Dat nose is mine.
Not yours but mine.
not yours but mine.
dat nose is mine.
(Brandy and Monica - the boy is mine.)
Mama Tawa sings:
Don't waste ya time
The big fat nose is mine.
(M.Jackson & P. Macarthney - The Girl is mine).
Kasali is now in love with Tawa patapata and gives her a bunch of flowers.
In my mind I'm going Tawakalitu.
The girl is ma sunshine.
Ma umbrella in di time of rain fall.
I thank me God for giving me a pretty girl like you.
I'm going Tawakalitu in my mind.
(Chris Okotie / J. Denver -Carolina)
Tawa accepts flowers and looks at her shoes smiling.
Tawa: Kasali thanks. But at last I can see me shoes when I'm standing. Na dat one sweat my belle pass.
I can see clearly now ma bulge is gone.
I can see all obstacles in ma way.
Gone is dat big big bulge dat slowed me down.
Gonna be a fine fine bulge-less day.
(Johnny Nash - I can see clearly....).
Sorry, we only take cash. (GBOSA!)
© 2000 - Babawilly