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How Mangoes Underdeveloped Africa

By: Babawilly

Europe has taken the blame for Africa's woes for too long and it's time to point the finger of blame at the guilty party! That culprit is the one and only Mangifera Indica (mango), the Oba of all tropical friuts that found it's way to the dark continent through unknown hands many years ago. This is the full story; na wa!!

Many years ago three fruits fell simultaneously from three trees on three heads in three different continents.

In America an orange hit the head of an American. He peeled and sucked the orange then exclaimed 'Wow! So sweet'. He bought the whole neighbourhood, built an orchard and went on to be a millioniare farmer.

Wap dabba doo wop
doo wap bamboom!

In Europe an apple fell on the head of a man resting from the summer heat. He looked at the apple for hours without touching it and soon began to formulate in his mind a hypothesis of gravity. He went on to be a great scientist.

Wap dabba doo wop
doo wap bamboom!

In Africa (The great mango shaped continent) a mango fell on a man's head while he slept. He woke you and ate the juicy fruit then exclaimed 'Chai!. See how my forefathers come bless me well well'. He built a Mango shrine and became the Mango priest. He went one to be a rich native doctor who prescribed Mango juice for every ailment.

Wap dabba doo wop
doo wap bamboom!

Soon the American needed more workers. The mango priest who had used his connections to jail all his enemies wanted to rid himself of them for good. Meanwhile the European scientist had loads of guns for export and a large ship for 'human cargo'.

The three men met up for drinks and did buisness together.

However the mango priest was sold many guns and few bullets. He oppressed his people till he ran out of ammo and began to beg Europe for more. He knew he was gaining the least out of this deal but could neither manufacture his own ammo or exploit his mango juice to his own advantage. In short he was stuck.

Wap dabba doo wop
doo wap bamboom!

© 2001 - Babawilly
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