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Men Bashing, A Trend?

By Al-Asad

I don't want to be one to bash the girls, but sometimes they just set themselves up for a good bashing, excuse the pun.

Now, female bashing isn't common (I mean the verbal one) among men and the physical one I find detesting that I cannot even bring myself to talk about. But I see the ladies bracing themselves for an argument, thinking; "something tells me I don't really want to hear this".

Possibly, you really don't and if facing facts is one of the allergies you suffer, you definitely do not.

As a man however I feel moved to speak out for humanity, since the bickering festers uncontrollably among the opposite sex.

I don't know about other guys, but I have had more than my fair share of moaning about men. Even though most of my lady friends know I respect my partners and I'm thoughtful where they are concerned, yet they come to me with silly jibes like: Men are mean, Men are beastly and that kind of cheap shot.

I am at a cross road where I am wondering if the opposite sex has any other analytical tool, than the tried, tested, boring argument repetitive tool that spins in a flux wherever you are to find women having a "discussion".

It riles me when every woman lacking confidence and self-esteem thinks she can blame a man for her predicaments. It seems they are put on this earth to depend on somebody emotionally and extricating themselves from an unhealthy relationship appears to be impossible.

Recently a woman wrote: "If a man can get addicted to cigarette and other things that does not profit his health, why not a woman who sleeps and wakes up thinking of how to make him happy?" Crap like this obviously has no place in the vocabulary of the independent millennium woman, or does it?

As a married man I have come to know that a woman does not spend her life thinking how to make a man happy (at least mine does not) if anything, the general opinion of men is quite the reverse. If you will make me argue over every insignificant issue under the sun, then happiness and peace of mind (which often breeds happiness) is the last thing on your mind.

Often times I wondered if it wasn't women, who've been unlucky in love, who make so much noise, intent on being heard? They feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and become paranoid after a misfortune.

Personally I think if somebody treats you like shit, they probably are shit themselves, but if you find yourself in this position repeatedly, then it must say something about you.

Men should learn to be reasonable and understanding wrote a friend, obviously patting herself on the back for observing something the world is yet to know. These qualities have nothing to do with genotype or sex, as much as it might have eluded my friend. If anything, it tells me more about the observer who appears unable to analyse a basic point in sociology.

You are what you eat and each of us is made up of our life experiences and conditioned by the environment we are raised in.

Deep down men who treat women like this probably are acting from a stimulus in their background that may have been placed by a woman, but I am no psychologist so I would leave this to Freud and his peers who would know what the heck they are on about.

Excuses like tiredness and boredom in a relationship may be gibberish tales with which men excuse their selfish and covetous tendencies, as observed by an aggrieved woman recently. For whatever reason anyone may want to end a relationship it is their prerogative and we must learn to get on with our lives if we have one, should we find ourselves on the receiving end of such moves.

What right has a man to raise the hope of a woman and then suspend it in the air and cut it off abruptly? Asked my friend in one of such debates and I was tempted to respond by saying; "as much as a woman in giving the wrong impression that she was everything he wanted at the initial stage, before reverting to type once she feel secure".

That however is neither here nor there.

The point is that we fall in love, we fall out of it, but sometimes when women see the monster of lust glowing in a man's eye, they deliberately interpret it as love, because that is probably more romantic.

Despite our rhetoric we do what suits us best, like women cheat on their husband and vice versa, like human beings are instinctively selfish. When it comes to pay day and he shows his true colour, please don't tar all men with the same brush.

It is your bed, lie on it and that is the view from this bridge;

I'm outta here.

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© July 2000 Al-Asad
Al-Asad is a freelance writer and contributor to NigeriaExchange dot com

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