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Love Wars
By: Eko Sista (Lagos)
March 11, 2001

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Who is your friend?

How do you classify your friends?

The other day, I went to visit a friend. As we talked, she was complaining bitterly about a friend of hers who she had a fight with the other day because she had heard through the grapevine that this "friend" was saying nasty things about her.

Is a friend supposed to talk about us?
Are they supposed to tell our secrets to people who are not supposed to know such things?

A friend is someone we should be able to confide in, somebody we should be able to tell our innermost secrets, somebody who will be there for you when you are having problems.

But some of these people we call friends are betrayers. Gba be o!

They go behind and tell your secrets to people. When you have problems they disappear untill your problems are over.

Some of them are favour seekers. They pretend to be your friend for what they can get out of you.

Some of them are fair weather friends. They are never here or there.

A friend is someone we should be able to trust.

Some of us are very unlucky with friends.

I for one, have never being lucky with friends. I have been betrayed by these "friends" coountless times. I have done so much for my friends and they never seem to show any apprieciation.

My dad, seeing how hurt I was, was always advising me to stay away from these "friends". But, that was quite impossible, because come to think of it, can we really stay without friends?

We need friends around us. Did you know that most women prefer to keep male friends?

According to many women I spoke with (yes, I did conduct an Eko Sista Survey!), men will typically help them in times of need. They are always there for them, and they feel safer telling their secrets and problem to their male friends.

Unlike women, they never tell your secrets to people.

Many women feel that other women are their worst enemies. Any opportunity they get, they make sure they hit you were you feel it most.

You know, I have decide that it is always better to make friends with somebody you've known for years o. If possible a childhood friend, and not somebody we met along the way. That way, the secrets we share will remain, secret.

And you know, we women do have a lot of secrets. Abi I lie?

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