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Sugar-D's and the Young Nigerian Woman

Love Wars
By: Eko Sista (Lagos)

November 19, 2000

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My good friend (lets call her Sisi Y) has being keeping a serious relationship with a married man for about two years now.

Sisi Y is obviously so much in love with him because it seems anytime we are together, he is all she can talk about; how he did this, how he did that and how nice he is to her.

I let her know I don't approve of her relationship, but she can't be bothered.

To make sure I wasnít being overly judgmental, I tried talking to some other friends about it. (You know me, I have to do Eko Sista Survey).

Many stunned me when they revealed they didnít find anything wrong with it.

One friend bluntly told me she couldnít imagine dating a married man because she expected to get married one day and she didnít believe a married man would leave his wife and mother of his children for anyone else.

Another friend told me she prefers to date married men because they are very caring. They treat you like their daughter and show you a lot of respect. Unlike younger men who just want to get you into bed, do the do and leave.

Others observed that married men are more mature and they know how to take care of you in terms of money.

Sisi Y sayís if she ever broke up with the current Sugar-D, she would find herself another one. She added that what her Sugar-D has done for her no young man could do for her. I also found out that she was waiting for him to propose to her and she was definitely going to accept.

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YEPA! How did this happen?

Before you ask "Eko Sista, wetin concern you inside", let me remind you that it wasnít always this way and that I feel the economic situation in the country is in large part, responsible for this trend.

Also these yeye older men, who have small money, are not helping matters. They go about chasing and luring young girls who are old enough to be their daughters with money.

I think the proper order of things is for young girls to date young men or if they chose older men, then they should be single. If they are nice to these young and single men they will treat them right.

I donít think that young men are horrible the way most girls try to make them out to be. If we treat them right they will treat us likewise.

Also, to women who chose to date married men, we should have it in mind that what ever we do will definitely get back to us. If we date other women's husbands then we should be ready to accept the fact that other ladies will have affairs with our husbands.

Finally, women should know that if we spend 3 years of our life with a man and it doesnít work out, we have lost 3 years of our lives, and the guy has only lost 1 year of his life.
(Don't ask me how I came up with that formula, just trust me, OK.)

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