The month of October is over and that means the very last of summer clearance sales. For those of us making that annual exodus to the homeland in December, now is the time to go hunting for shopping deals.
The Caribbeans have started filling up their barrels and the Filipinos and the Africans are packing their suitcases and boxes. Even if we don't make the trip home, the goods will find their way home to our families waiting anxiously for the goodies.
Just before the holidays, letters arrive, phone calls are made, somehow messages with requests from your loved ones make it through to America. Sometimes even people who are not "loved ones" get a hold of your contact and send you their requests.
I never realized how similar the third world experience was until I moved to New York and found my non-African and non-Caribbean friends telling the same stories.
My very good friend M is Filipina and knowing her will convince you that the third world experience is the same no matter what continent you are in. M looks very sophisticated and exotic and she's traveled the world but when it gets down to basics, she is still a third world woman. There's nothing to be ashamed about. We are who we are and our experiences make us the fun people that we are.
I have another close friend T, a Nigerian, who admits she couldn't quite understand how I was so close to M. That was until she saw M in action. A while ago, I threw a little come-chop party (for T's birthday) and decided to cook my signature rice (a mix between jollof rice and paella). As the hour grew closer for guest arrivals, I realized my rice was in real trouble. The washbasin of a pot that I used did not spread the heat evenly and so some parts of the rice were well cooked and others not. If care were not taken I would have a big tub of rice pudding to serve my guests. But at least the fish stew, crabs, and couscous were in perfect condition.
As I was battling with what to do M arrived.
Before she had a chance to settle down, I told her what was going on with my rice. To T's amazement, M quickly jumped into action. She asked for a wrapper and a pair of slippers. She tied the wrapper, slipped my size 8 slippers on her size 6.5 feet and before you know it she was shuttling between the stove and the microwave salvaging my rice. Experience from the homeland stepped in. Within 10 minutes my face brightened up. I knew I would have rice to serve my friends and best of all it wouldn't bring shame to my name.
T was amazed by M's quick and unpretentious response to my plight. Before that day, T had only seen M at parties and I don't need to tell anyone that we clean up well. When it's time for us to go out, we do step out with much class and style. Some of us even overdo it but I won't go into that.
Before the rest of the guests arrived, everything was enough under control so M could tear off the wrapper, slip on her shoes and assume her usual sociable character.
Look back on your times at the airport, when you encountered people going to the homeland with mountains of luggage and wondered how they would manage with all that luggage and you will understand how essential it is to have this personal flexibility. It is an art the way we can adjust to handle tight situations, sweat through the tough and not so glamorous parts and still be "as sophisticated as we wanna be."
Now that you understand my dear friend M, let me continue on the subject at hand - preparing for the holiday season third world style.
When most of my American friends tell me they are preparing for the holiday season and have to buy gifts for family and friends, they talk photo albums, books, scented soap, and the latest toys, things that from a third world perspective lack substance. Imagine arriving home with only items like that. Your name will be the talk of town with the usual "is this what she brought all the way from America?" You might even get one very bold family member who will ask you whether "na soap we go chop?" Of course they will accept soap from America but that better not be all.
As much as we know what items won't bring high praise, I don't think we really know what the clincher item will be when we begin shopping each year. It could be a scarf or even a can of General Foods French Vanilla Instant Coffee. The trick is to take as many diverse items as possible - items for the young and for the old, for the low and the high maintenance friends and relatives.
Here is where my dear friend M comes in again. Although she doesn't go home to the Philippines every year, she goes through the same kind of holiday shopping and packing for her family back home (the box will be sent via Cargo or some kind soul making the journey in person). All through the year, she manages to amass all sorts of knick-knacks. At the end of the year when it is time to pack and send the goodies, she begins to weed out the items that don't make the grade. From this pile of unwanted items she prepares a box or two for me, and I gladly trek over to her apartment to pick up the loot. Those same "rejects" from the Philippine package will go into the Nigeria package and make someone in Nigeria very happy.
Several factors send items into the not-taking pile but weight and size are the most important. Take for instance a ten-ounce bucket of caramel popcorn. That is an item that the children you know at home will forever remember you for but an item that would be foolish to include. It weighs nothing but you can't conveniently pack the item. If you remove the popcorn from the bucket, it loses its freshness and if you leave it in the bucket, you lose valuable space that could have taken three or four expertly rolled t-shirts.
Third world women pack everything from clothes to food items for their families. I am not one to push gender stereotypes but in this case, I have to admit the truth. The men have somehow figured out a way to keep people happy and avoid the hassles of packing and traveling with "load" - take enough cash on your trip or act aloof and play it all the way.
Men will carry ten computers and five stereo systems and deal with that hassle - the underlying principle being practicality. These items are cheaper and come in more variety in the United States. All other items that can be found in the local market (via import or local substitute) will be purchased at home. As my mother says, "no need carrying coal to New Castle".
Even after you realize the practicality of packing only what cannot be bought at a reasonable price on the local market, it is difficult to break out of this carrying-coal-to-New Castle pattern. You've done it before and people have come to expect those little bottles of sample perfume, those little sachets of flavored coffee, those chocolates, those scarves, and on and on.
For us women the governing rules to shopping and packing are more sentimental than practical. You will see a woman carry a box cheesecake on her lap through a nine-hour flight to the homeland, not because she cannot live without cheesecake for the duration of her holiday, but because it would be a nice thing for the family at home to experience. What can I say, I am guilty of similar travel crimes!
I know some inexperienced travelers out there who are always in a quandary about what to buy and what to send home. They haven't started shopping even at this late hour. To them I say, have no fear all hope is not lost. Attend a health fair, an industry exposition, a street fair, whatever, I guarantee you will find a T-shirt or two, a gadget or two and maybe a couple of toys that will make your people at home happy.
Keep an open mind, take whatever you can carry especially if it was a free give-away. Be careful though, the rules change when you have to send your package through someone. I don't need to explain that - the person kind enough to transport your package will let you know what items are inappropriate by refusing to take those items from you.
Oh, I must add one piece of advice - If you are making the journey home in person, do not take with you personal items that you cherish and cannot replace easily. If you do not want to part with a favorite pair of shoes, or that lovely, classic, summer dress that flaunts your figure, do not include it in your holiday luggage. I can almost guarantee you that that item will catch the attention of someone who sees it in just the same beautiful way as you do. That person will do all in their power to take that item from you. Saying no to this person and keeping your cherished items under close watch is not for the weak at heart.
Beware.
Related Links
