I looked at the ad. It was just what I was looking for. "Single White Frog seeks Single bachelor frog for romance and friendship possibly leading to tadpoles. Must love romantic hops in the pond and green water. Good looks a plus. Kermits need not apply."
I folded the paper and hopped onto my leaf. The journey took roughly about ten minutes but it would be worth it, I thought.
She lived in the swamp, how very posh. She must be a class act, I thought. I splashed the bell and within seconds she opened the door. I closed my eye, took a bow and said "Frog. James Frog. I'm answering the ad." I opened my eyes and it was the ugliest looking toad I had seen. She sure was hideous.
"Hi there!" she yelled in E flat or D minor. "Want to come in?"
"How about I just killed you and splattered your guts all around the pond" I felt like saying but I merely nodded and walked into her house.
"Nice place you have here...miss...er.."
"Man...Hew Man" she said.
She must be one of those Chinese chicks I thought. She spoke again, but this time in B diminished.
"Ok, let me get down to it. I need to find my special frog to kiss me so that I can return to my normal state. I'm not actually a frog but a spell was cast on me several years ago. I put the ad in the Frog Sheet Daily so that I can meet that special one but so far none of the frogs who have shown up has been the one. Perhaps this is my lucky day."
I looked at her. "How about I kick you in the stomach and drag your struggling body through the mud and then stamp on your head and squish it till your brains flow out!" I wanted to scream but I merely nodded my head and kissed her on the cheek.
There was a great flash of light and I looked around and saw smoke. I looked at her and she was still a frog. She was looking at me in shock and I realized that I had been turned to a human being. However, I couldn't swim so I panicked and drowned.
The end.
Guides
Channels